Last night I went to see Julie Lythcott-Haims (website) speak about her book How to Raise an Adult- Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success at Aptos High School. It was a mind stretching experience! She was funny, experienced, dynamic, humble, courageous, and practical! The experience I was left with was enlightening, therapeutic, and hopeful. Leaving the talk my mind hasn’t stopped thinking about my own children and the kids I work with everyday.
Main themes included:
Fostering Independence in four steps
- Do for the child.
- Do with the child.
- Guide and step aside.
- Child is independent with the task.
My questions to myself as a parent:
- When I parent am I fostering independence?
- Am I responsive to my kids interest or am I leading with what I would like for them to do?
- As a parent am I modeling good practices to demonstrate independence for my kids?
As a educator I ask myself:
- When I consult with a parent who needs to engage in activities to better develop a child’s resiliency and independence, am I scaffolding that in an attainable way?
- Given that hovering parents are becoming a more typical reality in our community what am I doing to hone my skills to support their needs?