How to Raise an Adult- Julie Lythcott-Haims




Last night I went to see Julie Lythcott-Haims (website) speak about her book How to Raise an Adult- Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success at Aptos High School. It was a mind stretching experience!  She was funny, experienced, dynamic, humble, courageous, and  practical! The experience I was left with was enlightening, therapeutic, and hopeful. Leaving the talk my mind hasn’t stopped thinking about my own children and the kids I work with everyday.

Main themes included:

Parenting Style


Fostering Independence in four steps

  1. Do for the child.
  2. Do with the child.
  3. Guide and step aside.
  4. Child is independent  with the task.


My questions to myself as a parent:

  1. When I parent am I fostering independence?
  2. Am I responsive to my kids interest or am I leading with what I would like for them to do?
  3. As a parent am I modeling good practices to demonstrate independence for my kids?

As a educator I ask myself:

  1. When I consult with a parent who needs to engage in activities to better develop a child’s resiliency and independence, am I scaffolding that in an attainable way?
  2. Given that hovering parents are becoming a more typical reality in our community what am I doing to hone my skills to support their needs?


NY Times

Washington Post



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